Finished with rehab

What ended up as a 1 inch gash In my head landed me in the hospital for 22 days a rehabilitation center for 13 days and outpatient therapy for almost 6 weeks and yesterday I finally got my graduation shirt. I am proud of what I accomplished and was able to do. I don't know if anyone was more determined to get out of rusk then I was, always wanting to push myself and finally I am finished as of yesterday!

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That one word… depression

Depression killed Robin Williams. Depression lives amongst many of us. It's something worse to deal with than a 22 day hospital stay. I still cry everytime I think about that text I sent to my own mother. What if you find me hanging in a closet? You'd loose it and loose your one and only daughter and ultimately it'd ruin my entire family's lives. Some people decided to take the path of suicide but I want to live. Ever since I was released from rehabilitation I've been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. It's a horrible thing to think of and have constantly running through my mind. My life could of been taken away from me many times before but I am here for a reason. I live my day to day life sometimes not wanting to face society others jumping up and down with joy. It's something everyone might face in their lifetime you just have to learn to live around it. Surround yourself with those you love, place yourself into situations you wouldn't see yourself in. Just keep yourself busy and learn to live the life God gave you. -Morgan

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Health Problems continue

I haven’t kept up with my website, facebook or any social media as good as I should have been because even though I didn’t realize it at the time but I was really sick. I ended up in the emergency room the day of June 19th after falling on my nightstand and getting a gash in my head. I knew I hadn’t felt right for a long time, even asking my mother to take me to the er, but with nothing they could of done we just waited and lived out our lives. Two days prior to me ending up in the er I was bound to a wheelchair, I could not walk at all. The day of the 19th I had just gotten out of bed lost control of my body and balance and my head landed on my nightstand, my dad just got home when I started screaming after having the local fire department come and help me stand up and get me upstairs my mom rushed me to the hospital only to get a call from my doctor saying my sodium levels dropped to 109. From that moment on I was in for a roller coaster ride. After looking back on everything my mom found out I started having seizures a day after I was admitted to the hospital. I am thankful I don’t remember much because that was the longest hospital stay I’ve ever had in my 22 years of living. I started having Grandma seizures 6 days after my arrival when they slowly tried to raise my sodium levels. They tried 4 times raising and lowering my sodium and that last time they were successful. I remember them drawing blood every 2 hours, I developed Pneumonia from being on a ventilator and an xray was performed, I was put through 3 MRI’s, a spinal tap, I had electrodes on my forehead three times to measure seizure activity. I was exhausted after a 22 day stay. The doctors who come in every morning even said they don’t get very many patients with low sodium. So I am very lucky to be alive. After everything I just went though and went through as a child I firmly believe I was put on this Earth for a reason. I am still searching for that reason but I think it has something to do with my artwork. I traded in my ford focus known as the “Art Car” in Columbia Missouri, I traded it for a brand new car with promises to get it wrapped but those plans fell trough. I have been unable to drive since my seizures because of a 6 month wait to assure your safe to be on the road again. I want nothing more than to be driving again and maybe in my dream car, a 1968 Mustang Fastback and you bet ya I am going to add my artwork to it because it’s who I am. I still haven’t found my magic touch for drawing again but am feeling super eager about a possible show in New York City. Stay tuned I hope to have some time lapse videos added to my you-tube channel within the next couple of weeks.

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2018 in review

My life had been prolonged with health problems. I went through 3 years of chemotherapy due to histiocytosis when I was 2 years old, I was later diagnosed with diabetes insipidus which just means my body doesn’t retain water, I was diagnosed with celiac disease and have so many other auto immune disease and illnesses since. 2018 started out with me getting my first job and leaving after a week due to gluten allergies. I found my next job at domino’s pizza which so far has been the job I’ve been able to hang on the longest even though I suffered an anxiety attack after working nearly 11 hours straight, and after being robbed at gunpoint I suffered from another anxiety attack a few days later which ended my job there. I went on to work at hyvee, jimmy johns, and teph seal. I have had to quit all of them but my most recent job I will leave due to more problems that have arisen. Sunday I was at my boyfriends house sitting on the couch and felt my anxiety levels rise, after working on a puzzle for about an hour I began feeling nauseous and we went and layed down and I could not get comfortable so after about 20 minuets I has to either go throw up or make myself. At that point he got me water and I was shaking so bad water was going everywhere. Eventually I finally layed on the ground and thought I was going into anifelectic shock, my throat was swelling up, I was shaking and hyperventilating. At that point my boyfriend called the paramedics and they finally got me to calm down and I didn’t think much of that event until I went out to eat with my family a few days later and in the car my body felt like it was shivering but I wasn’t cold and all of a sudden my arms started showing seizure symptoms, after getting home I had about 8 more episodes. But I can say that has been the scariest experience I have ever gone through. I went and saw the doctor today and he ordered blood work to see if any of my hormones are off if that comes back fine the next step will be an MRI. This is defiantly the scariest time of my life and I hope I can get answers sooner than later. If you could send a couple thoughts and prayers my way. Love you all!

Looking to the future!

It's obviously been a pretty crazy couple of weeks for me, After getting robbed at gun point Monday I had to deal with another anxiety attack at work Thursday which forced me to go ahead and move on and leave Domino's. Luckily I already got another job in the meantime which will hopefully work out a lot better. I know that all the guys I worked with will always have a special place in my heart and it's going to be really hard to forget everyone there I think the reason they were so special to me is because I was the only female driver that worked there for three months with about 8 guys. So after the night I was robbed I know it changed everyone there a little bit. I am not going to disclose where I am am working at until I know things are going to work out. I had put my artwork up in artlandish gallery in July but I think I am going to move forward from that as well, I'll have my work displayed until the end of the month then the art will move on and go up to consign and design and put what ever's left over on my website. I am also going to start working on time lapse video's once again later this week. And try some new techniques. I am very excited to see what the future brings and will always have a positive attitude and defiantly keep a smile on my face.

Robbed at gunpoint

It's something you would never expect to happen to you but last Monday I was robbed at gunpoint during a delivery. It was the most scariest things I have ever been through but after in incident the week before I knew how to handle myself. And I came out alive. The suspect is still out there but the police are closing in fast. It made me upset when I called the police department and the couldn't find anything in their system about what had happened but got the news later that evening that some had spotted what looked the same person at a gas station. In the same vehicle that that most likely robbed my For now I am going to leave it at that until they find the guy who did it. 

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Arlandish gallery

It's official been a 12 hour day. Had a job interview at 8 (I always wake up an hour before my alarm goes off don't ask me why) got up at 6. Started running my errands about 10:30. And started setting up at Artlandish gallery about noon. Took me four hours to set up. Thank you Brett Wisman your spirit was with me setting up. I came home got ready and headed back at 5. Completely exceeded my expectations. I was smiling the whole time. I just had to get a picture with me and a cancer survivor. (And of course I am not looking at the camera.) She really inspired me tonight. I am not going to make a long explaination of what my day looked like but it's been the best day I've ever felt in my art career. Meeting with so many amazing people and Gretchen Smith your getting your painting buddy back because I sold a PAINTING! My favorite metallic acrylic pour. I am so glad I was able to go to this first Friday and look forward to many more. Going to try some new thinks for the next one. I really wish I was able to park my car out front, but everything worked out the way I wanted. I loved hearing is that your car out front? Not sure how many of those I got. If you ever get the chance to go go downtown look for my booth downstairs. Thank you everyone who came out and supported me. 9 o'clock I headed off to work. Worked 2 hours and got a paycheck!!!!! Please ignore the bruises on my legs. I am most likely low on vitamin b 12.

 

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Ozarkland

I’v had so many good things happening in my life. I got a job that I really enjoy doing and a few months Back I decided to drop one of my coloring books off at Ozarkland. I’ve always wanted to get my books in the bigger shop and I decided to drop one of my coloring books off at Ozarkland. I’ve always wanted to get my books in the bigger shop and I  Took a trip to Kingdom city in Missouri. I left a book for other buyer to look at and after two phone calls he decided to go ahead and purchase 20 books to put in kingdom city and possibly Camdenton. I am very excited about this opportunity. And IHave more exciting news to share with everyone and the following months. If you don’t want to story about how I started by coloring books then I am going to share it with you. I graduated high school back in 2015 and this was one coloring books were really in their infancy. I want to do something different than other  publishers out there. I found a local printing company and each book is printed on 80 pound paper so not even sharpies bleed through. I bind every book by hand.And sell and market them on my own. I love going to sharps and saying if they’d be interested in selling them there and that tell this opportunity came to me. I have been all around Missouri to sell my books and eventually would love to expand them. 

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Career update

I’ve been a driver for dominos for a week now and couldn’t be more great full for getting a job where I can drive my car. I love driving my little focus around and feel like with a dominos sign i’m getting noticed more. The most memorable comments have been “hey look it’s the cool car” & having a conversation at a stoplight. Like someone told me down at Shelbyfest it may not be the most expensive car but i’s definitely the most unique. There were $100,000 cars but none of the owners were probably as proud as I was with my car. I’ve had my ups and downs but I am hanging in there and trying to be the best employee I can be.

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I've been struggling trying to find myself lately. I just started a new job as a delivery driver. I love the opportunity to show off my ride this way. I love going on all these Coloring book trips going to different towns all across Missouri. I know I don't sell a whole lot of books when I go on them but for me it's not about that. It's about going out and just having fun. And getting noticed in my car is what it's about for me. 

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Zentangled Mandala car

This project all started when I saw the image of the zentangled Nissan GTR. It was beautiful! My first experience doodling on my hood started in 2015. I used I don’t know how many sharpies but it took me about 4 hours to finish. I loved driving that car around, I loved being able to show off my work, and I loved the attention I got. Two years later December 2017 it was fading to the point where I was embarrassed to drive it around. It had no clear coat on it, so It’s survived many car washes until one day a car wash finally ruined it. It was easy to remove with fingernail polish. Driving my car around with nothing on it made me feel unimportant and invisible. So, I decided to do it all over again. About 5 hours of work in 4-degree weather she was back!

I love going to car shows with my dad. I am a Ford gal, a mustang girl. I’ve been going to shows with my dad for almost 10 years.  I’ve always been his wheel cleaner. Since day one I knew I was going to do my entire car. With the first show and shine coming up in a few weeks I knew I wanted to finish my car. Once I was committed I knew I had to complete it. I got tired of looking at it with scratches everywhere. I took six days to myself, went to a place that feels like home, our farm. I worked about 8 hours a day for three days. Getting a little homesick I knew I had to work longer days. I worked more than 12 hours in my final 2 days alone (I took a day to relax).  I am the kind of person who doesn’t like telling people what I am doing before I do things. Neither one of my parents knew I did my hood or was going to finish it, I was going to make it a surprise, but walking around in the cabin I heard someone outside, It was my dad. He told me you know your mom’s not going to be happy. I kept thinking “great you ruined the surprise.” About 50 hours later I decided (even though I had about 6 hours of work left) I finally wanted to go home that night, trying to figure out what am I going to say. As soon as I got home I put everything away and told my mom come here. Took her out in the garage and she walked straight back into the house.

With the worst part behind me (showing it to my parents) I decided to fix and finish my car. May 4th Show day, I woke up about 4:30am because I was so excited to show it off. 7 hours of sitting and talking to people I had the best day of my life. I swear my car was the most photographed car (at least where I was at. There were nearly 1000 cars that attended). I am excited and hopeful that I can someday take my car coast to coast. I am still trying to decide if it needs some color. I had about 20 people tell me I want to color your car. I had an idea that morning to take it to a local Children’s hospital and have all the kids come out and color. And believe it or not someone else had the same Idea. If I ever get the recognition and the chance to do this I will donate the car to be auctioned off for Cancer research.

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